Two Months

Two months have passed by and I still can't believe I'm here, in South Korea.  Not sure if this surreal feeling will change.   I still have my moments of homesickness, which have a tendency to hit really hard.  Unfortunately that feeling will never go away.  Of course I still question my decision for coming here.  However, the wheels are a turnin’ in my head for my travels once my contract here is up.

Now I remember what it was like being uprooted a few times during my childhood.  Back then I had no choice and it was a little difficult for me to make friends as my family moved around.  It didn’t help that I was extremely shy.  Here I am now, uprooting myself from family, friends and I guess “familiarity”…  I would become comfortable and felt as if I was “home”, then we were off.  I’m the one who’s responsible for what’s happening in my life now.  It’s kind of funny how things have turned out.  But then again, that’s how I grew up.  Although I am finding it a little difficult with being away from my loved ones, I’m not as shy anymore…I can’t be.  I’ve definitely come a long way.  Another thing to think about…even though I uprooted myself from “familiarity”, I’m still in a familiar place when it comes to moving somewhere I’ve never been before without any friends.  Even though my brother is here in Seoul, we’re about 30 minutes away from each other and he has his own life to live.  We’re not going to see each other every day, but we will see each other. 

I’m having no problems with meeting people and making friends.  However, I still encounter the feeling of loneliness.   Unfortunately, with this lifestyle, the new friends I make will not always be around.  They will leave to go back home, or to some other country, for other new and exciting experiences, and vice versa.  The same goes with the kids I teach.  One of my students' last day at school was yesterday.  Her family is moving to Fairfax, VA.  Quite the change.  

I leave you with an excerpt from a book I read this past summer…

"Virginia Wolfe wrote, “Across the broad continent of a woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword.” On one side of that sword, she said, there lies convention and tradition and order, where “all is correct.” But on the other side of that sword, if you’re crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, “all is confusion. Nothing follows a regular course.” Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a far more interesting existence to a woman, but you can bet it will also be more perilous."

~Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

P.S.  I know I'm behind on my blog posts.  Don't worry, I'll get to them soon enough. I need to get my lazy butt into gear.